I have been asked by many to finish this story…and I apologize that it has taken so long, but here is the rest of the story….
After the visit in which he attempted to bed my best friend, he went back to Gaziantep. I stayed in Istanbul and went on with life. The phone calls got further and further apart. The excuses as to why got more outrageous. Then in September he came back, unannounced. This was pleasant. Only I had already made plans with friends and I was not going to cancel them. I was going out to Taksim with friends for a birthday and I asked him to come join. Surprisingly he did!!
He had to be face to face with my friend Cat again, and it was funny. They both felt like asses. He because he saw how stupid it was to try to bed my best friend and her because she thought she must be as naive as I said she was. All in all it was funny. We all went dancing and had a great night. As per usual we had to go have our chicken and rice at 4 am on the streets and he saw the vendor kiss Cat on both cheeks as is the norm in Turkey when you know people. We knew this vendor well as he was our regular chicken and rice guy. But when the vendor tried to come to me, the man steps in front of the vendor and says something in Kurdish. The vendor seems offended and I ask what the heck happened…I was told simply, ‘this man is not a good man and he said some bad things about you and Cat. Please do not come back here.’ Ok. That was that. We walked away and all went home.
He stayed a few more days and it all went well…seemingly until the last day he was here. We went to our favorite little restaurant and on the way there by bus, he turns to me and says that he doesn't want to ‘break me(break my heart)’ but his father is yelling at him to get married. Yes I was broken. But then again, I thought just let it go and don't say anything and all will be fine. We go to eat and while there, he takes out these beads that all the men here have. I ask him where he got them as they are very nice. He tells me from a girl at a store he goes to often. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!! I let it roll off. We go home and he packs up as he will go at 5 am.
This time was different. I didn't wake up when he was to leave. I simply said have a good trip and he was gone. I felt nothing. No sadness, no heartbreak, no joy, no happiness. Blank inside.
The days turned to weeks and he called. To check on me. I told him that my visa was coming and I needed 10,000 lira in the bank. He forwarded it to me. I had a problem with my visa and I had to go to Bulgaria for 2 days. I used some of the money he sent me. Little did I know that he had borrowed it and I was not suppose to use it. Yes, he was mad. Oh well…..
I sent him 9500 back and told him that I would send the rest in a week or so and that I was sorry. A few days later at 4 am I get a text note from him. It says….We can not go on like this. I do not want you to send the money back. But also I will not send you any. Keep the money and get yourself the internet at home like you want and please take note of how to pay the rent thru the bank. You have to do this by yourself now. This is done.’ Shock sets in but at the same time, a sort of peace sets in. I no longer have to hide who I am and I no longer have to worry about making him mad. I send him a note back that says ‘ok. I agree. This has been dead a long time but thank you for all you did form e. You are forever welcomed here and when you are in Istanbul again, call and we can go have lunch.’….he responds with ‘ thank you and I will see you one day.’……………………and its done.
I go on with life. Happy on the outside but honestly sad. I hide it but find myself in the bottom of a bottle on most nights. Trying to not think about it. I filled the time with so many men. Going out with them and I had one on a regular basis that I had for some time. The others were a way to go out and have fun but I always stopped just short of going home with them. I had the one for that need. Little did I realize that I was falling for him but in a much different way than this man. This one man…this Kurdish man had my heart. He gave me something that I did not know I wanted or needed. But at the same time, he took so much from me too.
Days to weeks, weeks to months and I see his uncle. His uncle tells me that the man will get married. I am shocked and saddened again. I really lost but I was kinda glad too. At least he was getting what he wanted. He called one day while I was at school and I could barely talk to him. The sadness came out and I said my final peace………..Ilhami, there can never be another you and I don't want another you. I deserve better and I have found better. I will make it in this life without you. I wish you happiness and love but please learn that love between a man and woman requires more than sex…it requires honesty, respect, and loyalty. I hope you find those things in life and I hope you are happy.’
Click. That was that.
Since then I have moved to Izmir in the south-western part of Turkey. İts lovely here. Open minded people and a great atmosphere over all. I have started or should I say continued to date the young man that I met while still with Ilhami. Life is looking pretty good at this point. Lets hope that it keeps going good.
As for the problems with terrorists and ISIS, that is pretty far from me. Sadly it is close to the area that Ilhami is in. I hope he is ok. I don't know as I do not have any contact with him at all. I am safe tho.
Thank you to all that have read this blog and for the nice comments along the way. Thanks for the encouraging words and concern for my happiness.
1. Please do not let my experience discourage you from dating a person. One persons experience is not what is the norm. Each person is different and each love is different. Live your life you way and take that chance. This is your love , not theirs ♥♥
2. I absolutely love Kurdish people. Honestly they are some of the nicest people I have met. I will stand by them until the end in hopes that one day they can gain back their lands and be a nation that is strong and proud ♥
Search for more blogs I am writing. One is about weight loss, a battle that I have fought long and hard and may have found the golden answer to…and its very healthy and NOT expensive.
Also there is a blog about fighting psoriasis. I have had this for many years and have finally, after tons of research, found a way to help fight it off.
Those blogs will soon be coming out and can be found by key words…..
Weight-loss / natural weight-loss / battle of the fatties / kale / skin-smooth / help my skin/ psoriasis………….as well as other words that you might associate with these disorders.
Thanks again to all.