What to do now??

Here I am in the 4th week of my move to Turkey.  I spend a lot of time alone. Yes it is true that he is out looking for  a job, but at the same time, when he is here, I am still alone.
This is the tale-tell sign that it might have been the biggest blunder of my life to come here.
While its true that as many American women do, I came here for a man, but in the meantime I am attempting to teach.  There are so many that want to prefect their English, yet they think that they can learn it in a two hour lesson.  And then there are those that think they are perfect because they paid copious amounts of money to go to one of the numerous language schools here. I have found that those schools care about the money not the person and what they teach them.  I hear and see the example of the failure of the language school system every day. I live with it.
At any rate, I feel him slipping away. And honestly it gets harder each day to look at him.  Sometimes I think to myself what a shame it is that he is scared to be loved, what a pity it is that he doesn't know how to turn his back on "culture" and "tradition" and go for LOVE.  It is looking him right in the face. However, his love of culture and tradition keep him blinded and honestly there is little hope that he will change. So that leaves me in a bind.. Do I change for him?  Do I give up the life that I have lived for 37 years and convert my mind and soul to be the kind of woman he thinks he wants? Or do I just go on being me?  After all, he wanted an American woman, and he asked for an American woman.  He had to know that even with the things I am willing to do and give up, that I could not change in an instant. What to do...
I am not saying that its the right thing to do because we all know that love is not judgmental and that love is kind, but love is also not suppose to hurt and nor is it suppose to suppress one of the mates.
But is love in this society different than that of America?  Is love here a woman sitting alone at home and cleaning and cooking and then feeding the man and then again being alone with him sitting 9 inches away? Is love the occasional " can we mate?" that means " I want to have sex.  I dont care if you want to or not, and I dont care about being close after its done.. I am the man and I want what I want.  You are a woman and you have to do as I say"??
Not in my opinion.  At this point I can see it clearly.. its not love.
It's lust for something different to him.  Sadly I am paying with heart.
I am paying with sanity.  I am paying with my morals and my values.
I am paying with my soul.  My soul that is being torn out bit by bit and he does not even see that he is killing me inside.  And I really dont think he cares.
\
Or does he?  He is still here.  He could have left so many times.  He does not have to come home. SO maybe he cares but he is scared to fall in love.  He is scared to love because he knows that its not socially acceptable for him to be with an American woman that has children and never married.

He is missing what has been handed to him on a silver platter and laid out for him to have for all his life.  He is willing to let it all go to save
tradition".  I see this happening so many times with middle easterners.  they love the women of the USA but they cant have those women for fear of being chastised by the family and community.  SO they let go of what feels right to them and they marry women that fit the mold of what culture says that they should look for. These men marry women that are going to bear them child after child and stay in the home and work this man to death.  These women are programmed to do this.  They look for men that have great jobs and for the men that will let them stay home barefoot and pregnant year after year.  And they say that the US is out of control. Its high time that these men start looking at themselves and tell the family to accept what they feel and take that plunge and marry that American woman. Be happy, not just a money maker and sperm donor.  Be free,  Be loved.

take time to learn

Taking time to learn is the hardest thing for me.  I hate to know the ending before the show even starts. But yeah I see it coming.
And well, I got told it was coming.  He lost his job last week. I was very worried for him. I still am worried for him.  But he is smart and well rounded, he will find another job soon.

As for the end.. we were sitting down for the nightly meal and he tells me that my actions are not good.  He continues to tell me that he couldn't go on like this.  He talked with his uncle, who I thought was a great ally of mine in this, and his uncle tells him that his father does not want him to go to the US.  Nor does his uncle. He tells me that his uncle said to him that he needs to think about a wife and his child.  WHAT CHILD!?
OMG IS HE MARRIED WITH KIDS?

No he is not. the thought was that he needed to think about having kids.  Its culture here to have kids and many of them. Funny thing, if he asked me, hell to the yes I would have one for him. No questions asked, no words spoken. So he tells me that his US dream is done. He goes on to say that in 3 months he wont be a part of my life anymore. I am dying inside.

He proceeds to tell me that he will go to Gazinatepe in a few weeks for a job interview. Its a friend apparently. NOT a good idea.  Its not a job, its a hand out that he will be overworked for and likely treated badly at. This is what happens when you work for family or friends.

Dead inside. what can I do?  Its over now. Should just go back to the simple life of nothing back in small town USA.

Wait!  I am fighter.  I have always fought for what I wanted.  And I want this man.

Am I strong enough to do it?