Love and a Kurdish man. What does it take to love a Kurdish man with values and views so different from those that you are accustomed to? How do you withstand the pressures of his culture and try to be the best that you can be and be the star in his eye?
Falling in love for some is easy. For others it is nearly impossible. I tend to be the latter. I have truly loved one person in my lifetime, and when our time was finished, I went for years wandering around mindlessly and hopelessly thinking that I would never be able to love another man. And then it happened. There it was... a chat message from a man in Turkiye. He has found me through Mylanguageexchange.com.
I ignored him at first. And then another note came. I replied. We chatted a few times but I wasn't looking for anyone at that time. I just wanted a friend. The turning point was when he asked me if he could video chat me.
I know that the old saying "it was love at first sight" is so cliche, but it happened. I did not even see it coming. I was looking for a friend. Someone to learn Turkish from. Once I accepted the video chat and I saw those dark brown eyes, that golden brown skin, and that jet black hair, I knew that this was the man that I wanted. I knew that this was the man that I had waited so long for.
Over the weeks we chatted and here and there he taught me a few Turkish words, he learned more English than I did Turkish, and we soon were talking to one another every day.
I would fall asleep with my computer open so that I could hear when he came online so that I did not miss him. (How is for wanting someone?)
Then it happened. He asked me what it would take for him to come to the US. I was floored. All the hopes that he cared were gone. He saw the hurt on my face, in my eyes. But I stood tall and told him what he wanted to know. He asked me if I would come here and marry him so that he could go to the US. I said yes. So the plans started to not visit Turkiye, but to move there and to go through with this marriage and get the papers and bring him back to the US.
Over the months, we seemed to grow closer. Or at least I thought we were. Sometimes he would say things that made me think that he wanted to be with me as more than a "green-card wife" and then other times he would flat out tell me that this is all he wanted.
So again, I stood tall and kept my promise to him. I would go and do this because I made a promise to him and I dont break my promises.
The month that I was to leave the US came and he found an apartment for us. He seemed to stress so much on my comfort and my needs. All the while he had no idea that I was stressing that he was going to hate me because of my size, I am a big woman, and that he was going to leave me at this apartment and go off to his family home and this was all for show. The fear that consumed me was almost too much to take. I cried many nights, and I was sick so much that I almost cancelled the whole thing several times.
May 18 I left home for a new life and to become a "green-card wife".
One of the most hated things in the US. Many say what kind of woman does this.. That is a simple answer.. a woman that loves a man so much that she is willing to do anything for him to show her love.
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