I walked through the gate with my cart overloaded with luggage and a cat. Hundreds of people waiting for their loved ones. I did a quick scan and half way down the line.. there he was. Just like on video. A bit taller than I had thought, but a tall, dark, knight in shinning armor. The man I had come here for.
He noticed me as fast. He turned from the line and I almost fell to the floor. He saw me and he was leaving with out me. OMG!
Then as I moved closer to the end of the walkway, I watched him walk past me. He wasn't leaving, he was coming to me. But was it because he wanted to or because he felt obligated to?
He turned and saw me and came to me. His first words were "Hi". Ahhh that accent. Those lips. My heart is melting and my knees are weak.
His embrace was warm and comforting, but not loving. This is exactly what it is. A marriage for a green-card. No love. No emotions. My heart was broken. I dont think that I will ever love again.
He said some things but honestly I dont know what he said. I was so relieved that he did not tell me to go back that I didn't hear him. But still I could hear the question in his voice asking himself , " why did I chose her? Why does she have to be this big? How am I suppose to to do anything with a woman this big? I can never show her to my family or friends." It was there. Maybe that is why I didn't hear what he said.
And all the weeks of not smoking and telling myself that I would not smoke were gone. I was only doing it for him. Outside, I asked him if he had a lighter, and he gave me one and I smoked. Why should I do something for someone who is obviously repulsed by me? I am here to do a job and then get on with my life. Although he will always be the one that I would change anything for. He will always be the one that I will love. There will be no more. I am to broken to try. This is the one that was made for me. But he does not want me....
No comments:
Post a Comment